Recklessly Pessimistic

"We got hosed"

2009-11-20T23:59:00.000-08:00

The most factual (and hysterical) historical re-enactment of Thanksgiving you're ever going to see; courtesy of our unwitting youth.

Jesus, those pre-colonial crackers were bastards.

What? You were expecting Max Klinger maybe?

2009-11-09T19:49:00.000-08:00

What does a Guy have to do to get out of a shit detail? Dress up in a mink coat and panty-hose? Let's face it, this freak is no Major Sidney Freedman, but at least you would think that an Army shrink would come up with a better way to get out of the Army then murdering his patients. Just say your gay and you're gone. Nobody gets hurt, no shots fired..and Allah will forgive you because he is merciful. And it would've worked for Klinger too! If he had only tried to bang Radar instead of spending his Saturday nights washing his undies with the girls...which brings me to my point: Who the fuck really wants to repeal DADT?

If one can get out of the great honor of getting blown to shit by some fucking peasant in a mud hole that makes "Third World" seem like Utopia by being a homo than I'm a homo...and I don't need the help of any fucked-up religious whack job Army psychiatrist to help me work out my issues. This Hasan asshole couldn't even get out of the Army by basically saying he hated the Army..Mom...Apple Pie!! What more does Uncle Sam need to fire this prick? If we kick out gay soldiers who serve honorably and keep the raving bug-house fuckers who obviously need a straight jacket/medical discharge combo; then what kind of wars are we fighting over there?

Hey, can I call you back on a landline?

2009-10-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

Too obvious to be a newsflash: cellphones'll give you cancer. Really? You mean this electrical thing I'm holding next to my brain everyday that starts to get warm after 20 minutes isn't good for me?

The Daily Show triumphs again

2009-10-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

Daily Show Goes to Iran from sahar sarshar on Vimeo.

Jason Jones and his producer speak about their amazing trip and mission to decimate stereotypes with comedy. The takeaway though, most Americans are idiots and will probably never absorb the irony.

I tawt I saw a bottle cap...I did!I did eat a bottle cap

2009-10-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

Will Sherman pens the following:

Visiting the Midway Atoll, at the center of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, [Chris] Jordan took these disturbing photos of dead albatross chicks raised on a steady diet of plastic debris floating in the water: lighters, bottle caps and other colorful trash. He writes:

To document this phenomenon as faithfully as possible, not a single piece of plastic in any of these photographs was moved, placed, manipulated, arranged, or altered in any way. These images depict the actual stomach contents of baby birds in one of the world’s most remote marine sanctuaries, more than 2000 miles from the nearest continent.

35-year-old pussy and Paris Hilton

2009-10-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

Hello Kitty turns 35 and Paris Hilton shows up. Frankly, if the purple Carebear turned 24, Paris Hilton would show up.

Our Patron Saint: Lewis Black

2009-10-23T23:35:00.001-07:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

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Back in Black - Angry Outbursts

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Yay! Weddings for rich people

2009-10-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

Oh fuck it, I'm just going to punt and get them all some C4 and a detonator wrapped in a grocery bag. Call me traditional.

This douchebag's a millionaire.See, God does hate you.

2009-10-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

We're still trying to figure out what's more portentous of the Apocalypse: This Internet affiliate marketing piece of shit earning six figures or the developmentally disabled dumbfucks that gladly gave him their cash. You decide.

Antichrist

2009-10-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

Check this little flick out and tell us that the end ain't nigh.

Regretsy: Kentucky Frilled Chicken

2009-10-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

“Some folks say that on a cold night, when the moon is a-howlin’, you can still see her at the old farmhouse table, knitting shrugs for the chickens.”

Jerks in a Circle

2009-10-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

You'd think Adam Lambert would have more for his pool boys to do on a Saturday night.